Go ahead and chuckle when you get to the part about it being be first day of summer break. I opened the WordPress App and this is what I found:
It’s been said time and again, I’m not a busy person, we don’t have a busy life. We started cycling some three years ago to declutter our schedules and slow down the pace. It doesn’t mean we don’t have busy moments or times where we are double, triple or even booked to be in five different places at the same time. There are fewer of those and more empty weekends and longer strolls through farmers markets and open ended volunteer hours at school or the neighborhood clean up. There’s also more time for children to bicker, play video games, and “be bored.” It’s not perfect, but it’s working out alright.
With all the downtime I kept wondering when to blog. The facebook page (linked to the twitter account shown on the blog sidebar) and instagramming was active and easy, but blogging required longer stretches of time, children to be engaged and housekeeping in a lull. It required a working computer, or app and a little motivation. Today, our first day of summer break, so many things lined up just so. The baby is now four and half and does all these great independent things. The two eldest can ride their bikes to the park and library, without me. Imagine what sort of world is opening up before us.
I see ahead of me a few hours alone in my own house.
There’s no promise of a blog resurrection. There is only this feeling that I miss writing. I miss my community of family cycling writers and readers. I miss reporting all the new places we rode, interesting Buffalonian discoveries, and what life has been like 500 miles from everything we knew as comfortable.
Last week had a couple good examples of giving up, or maybe it’s giving in.
Following Columbus Day, the littlest one, Oliver, and I hung around the house, stared at the overgrown raised beds behind the garage (made a plan of attack), cleaned the dishes, folded the laundry, then headed out to pick up Avery (6yo) at school to take him to an appointment. We were going from home to school to the children’s hospital on a route we had taken a couple times. Brent met us at school and accompanied us to the hospital. Front and center, covered parking, that was in use. A sweet sight.
To head home we opted for going around Delaware park, also a mostly familiar route. We stopped for playground and snack time, then carried on. We paused to take in the autumn scene over Hoyt Lake. Ok, we paused because after climbing up the hill and the spiral overpass, I needed it (also an e-assist).
MAP link from school, to hospital, to park, to home.
Once home I assembled my plan to attend an open house at one of the schools we are considering for Elliot (9yo) next year. We really want to make informed decisions and these open houses will help us complete his application. Brent works several nights a week, so it’s me, five kids, dinner duties, homework monitoring, and all the usual. I don’t mind not having the extra adult hands, but that night I also wanted to make this open house. Here were several of the options I had in mind and some of the thoughts on each:
Bike all the children to the open house (it’s only 3miles each way, but it would be dark on the way back, I haven’t ridden there before and I am not familiar with the neighborhoods or the streets, the children wouldn’t get their work done or their dinner before a reasonable bedtime)
Bike the youngest children only (the older ones could manage a dinner and homework, we’d only have to take one bike, could hope for snacks at the open house to hold over the younger children and feed them more when we return)
Take the bus with any combination of all or the littles (missed the first bus by the time I thought of this plan, second bus would get us there an hour late, other bus options would drop us off a bit further away and I don’t know the neighborhood well enough to know if we should be walking around it, I’d have to look around for cash/exact change or stop by ATM)
Reserve the car share, taking all or the littles (started to “worry” about where to park at the school, was paying for a car “worth” going to the open house?, how ridiculous does it feel to drive 3miles?, I am obviously having money/guilt/driving issues here)
Find a sitter and bike alone to the open house (the one lead on sitters didn’t call me back this week, as I had this in mind on Sunday, our exchange student isn’t up to the task of being responsible for four other children, the other adults in the neighborhood haven’t offered, but should I ask them? seems awkward, and very last minute, should I be biking alone places I haven’t been, after dark?)
Ultimately, what kept me from going was not being familiar with the route to the school, the children not wanting to go anywhere, and the impending darkness. I am not opposed to cycling in the dark, we do it often. I am leery of cycling with the children in the dark through unfamiliar neighborhoods. Sounds like an unsafe plan at this time. I’d like to be more trusting, but I’m feeling “blind” in a new city. Homework and food were my second concern. I can whip together a lunch box and keep the kids up later, for things I feel are justified, as long as they don’t happen often. I really don’t have an issue with paying for a car or the bus (because right now we have the means), but it was bothering me that the distance was very bikeable and it didn’t feel necessary to use transit or a car. Children not wanting to leave their engaging play, is often something I don’t want to break up either, but it stalls a lot of opportunities and outings.
I scrambled my brain for someone who could bike with me, then wondered how ridiculous I might sound pleading for an escort, but in hind sight, that’s what I really need. I need a tour guide, a bike buddy. I need someone who knows these neighborhoods and roads. I want other people to want to ride with us. I don’t want to beg, but I certainly have been. Where are you cycling families!? Where are you patience and understanding?
Another night last week there was a fundraising party at a location I was familiar with, but I was feeling overwhelmed. Brent was working, the kids were not wanting to go, and so the situation played out that I didn’t see the event as neccessary, and we stayed in.
So, I feel like I gave up on these situations. I convinced myself that the open house wasn’t essential, but it would have been nice to attend. I allowed our lifestyle choice to hinder my attendance. Had their been a car in the drive, would we have taken it? I don’t know. I am very good at talking myself out of going places with all the kids by myself. There is very little joy in their company when they don’t want to go, and they didn’t. This happens occasionally (probably more than I would like it). Several of the children are able to pedal their own vehicles, and if they set their minds not to go, I have to get more creative, or we don’t go. These days, after the year we have endured, my creativity is running low.
We come back to this point often and we don’t seem to get far. Is it truly the children, the situation, the time of day, or our mood that is keeping us home, or is it the mode of transportation?
For example, I was meeting up with another family and commuter cyclist Friday night to discuss the launch of a Buffalo Kidical Mass. (Jesse also organizes the Buffalo Family Bicycling facebook page. Go join, then ride with me!) Brent was home, the kids weren’t wanting to leave, Eiki had a football game to go to, and it was drizzly and dark. Eiki took the train/bus and Jesse and I were meeting somewhere familiar, so I went, by myself. I left the house after bedtime, not that my kids were anywhere near sleeping, I think they were watching Back to the Future. I took the long way around a guerrilla bike path, because it’s not lit and it is rather boggy right now. We jabbered on till midnight, then I headed home, a different route, I wasn’t entirely familiar with, but knew enough about the neighborhood to feel comfortable. A kid free outing, the desire to go, a safe route all added up to choosing to ride my bike, alone. So maybe I didn’t give up on the other nights, but rather made a sound choice. Or maybe it’s all in the perspective.
MAP link home to coffee meet up to home, around the short cut, guerrilla path. Rode the sidewalks on Main Street.
Months ago, before we had even left WV, my sister Sara text asking to stay with us in Buffalo and borrow our car, so she could go to her bestie’s destination wedding in Niagara Falls. Sure, why not. Isn’t that convenient? Your best friend is getting married twenty miles from our new home and I benefit from a visit too? Sign me up.
Then that whole selling the car thing happened and she sends me another text, “Do we need to rent a car?” Now come on. If the seven of us can get around, the two of you can too. She’s my sister, I can heckle her a wee bit. I did offer to rent the car for her, but also laid out some alternatives. I wouldn’t be able to pick her up at the airport because she was arriving during school pick up time, so she could take the bus, wait for me to get her, call a cab, or again, rent a car. Come arrival time, she and her husband Micheal surprised me, they took the bus. $10 and about an hour later, they had arrived at University Station and walked down the historic University Avenue to our house. The weather was perfect. 70s, with a brilliant tint of autumn foliage.
We started the sight seeing with a request from them to get wings. We obliged, walking with the trusty Radio Flyer back to the station, boarding the train (using the day passes they purchased to get to our house), and going to the Anchor Bar. The next day, while the children were in school, I took them sight seeing. We covered 18+ miles (map linked), down to the lake, and back again, taking in the tastes, smells, sounds and views Buffalo had to offer us. I wore them out. We started with breakfast at Sweetness 7, then headed to City Hall for a one of a kind view. We rolled out to the Erie Basin Marina, Canalside, and then looped around First Niagara Center and the construction to find ourselves out front of Coca-Cola Field. We worked our way through the city to Allentown, then walked the southern portion of Elmwood Village before stopping for lunch. We wrapped up our tour in the bike lane and on the sharrows of Elmwood Avenue, turning off at Bidwell Avenue to catch the path through Delaware park, our preferred route home.
The following day I promised less time in the saddle. We stayed in the Parkside and North Buffalo neighborhoods, covering about a quarter of the miles (map linked). We rode by the Darwin-Martin house, spent a couple hours at the zoo, then lunched on Hertle Avenue at The Global Market. We picked the boys up at school then headed home. That evening Sara and Michael walked the kids to the library and made a stop at the grocery. My sister thought she wouldn’t get any exercise on vacation, as it often is, and she later text me to say she lost a couple pounds. I didn’t starve her, but active transportation has many benefits.
When the wedding day arrived they decided to rent a car. I borrowed car share to take them to the airport for their car pick up, as the bus wasn’t timely, and then they had quick, convenient access for their 6AM flight the following morning.
All in all, we had a great time and I was able to take them places I had never been in Buffalo by bike. I really like to explore, and having company with me was empowering and fun. I hope they felt the same.
We are approaching two months in Buffalo, without a car of our own. We spent $149.50 in August, and $249.11 in September on parking, bus, train, taxi, car share (gas & insurance included), tolls, and related memberships. The break out:
$96.00 Car share
We certainly were more conservative with our transportation dollars our first month in Buffalo. We had a lapse in income and insurance to hurdle over, but we made it to the other side, without any significant financial surprises.
$137.00 Car share
$21.60 Membership/mileage overage from September
There was a week in September where I felt like it was “Monday” every day. I was making mistakes too frequently. I signed up for a car share to attend Eiki’s first soccer game, then left my keys with the fob in Brent’s bike, and he was at work. We took the public bus to London’s school on her first day and I bought a round trip ticket, forgetting those were only good on the train. Then I put the adult fare in the bus slot, instead of the reduced amount for a child. It was money spent, that we couldn’t recover. We attended Eiki’s second game, but then due to the substantial walking and waiting we encountered on that particular bus route, we decided to take a taxi back to our bikes waiting at the train station. It all adds up, but it didn’t amount to much when put into the perspective of car ownership, or did it?
Then there is the issue concerning the cost of convenience and quality of life. It takes a lot to leave me feeling like something wasn’t worth my time, or was a nuisance to my day. One of the reasons we choose to bike and walk is because we want the day to slow down. We enjoy the extra time rolling around the neighborhood, under scheduling, experiencing new things, and staying in touch with the weather. However, when London missed the bus to school last week, we didn’t hesitate to borrow the car share vehicle. It was the least inconvenient mode at the time, and we now know we need to work on a better plan B. So it’s all relative.
Had we maintained possession of our vehicle with our move, and used it instead of transit, car share and a taxi, what would our costs have been? That’s more difficult to calculate. I haven’t been tracking mileage, as we are spread in five different directions daily. I wasn’t sure if we should consider the cost of the yellow school bus, and how would you? Those miles are certainly accountable, it was just too much to consider, right now. Maybe another month I will take it on.
I maintain that I am uncertain about any future car ownership. The temptation is strong to buy another van, giving us the “walk out the door and into the car” convenience for out of town trips. I think the urge might be reduced if our local car share had a van parked in our neighborhood. Family size certainly affects our costs for the bus/train, but it also necessitates a larger vehicle, and that is a cost we pay in time to retrieve it.
While we could go purchase a car, I have been researching and dreaming about a bakfiets. We are staring into the frosty crystal ball that has winter white swirling all around, and wondering, could this be the vehicle that maintains our cycling lifestyle a midst colder/harsher conditions? It’s the vehicle of choice for so many with wonderful winters. My research has led to me to learn from the following (who also have resourceful blogrolls):
Modal Mom, Lana is riding a variety of bikes in Ottawa, Ontario with her son
Copenhagenize, a multi-contributor blog about building better cities, based out of Denmark
Chicargobike, this parenting pair write from the windy city about Chicago infrastructure and biking around with four children
Have we met? For some of you, upon meeting me, I was probably a bit enthusiastic, chatty, opinionated, scrambling my conversations, trying too hard to figure out who you might like to meet and what resources I might be able to connect you with. For others I might have asked too many questions. Sometimes I am quiet or cold and curt. I think we all wear many hats into many different arenas. Right now, in my strong desperation for building up connections in a new city, I am being a little forward. Maybe I do this without any excuse all the time, but right now it’s getting out of control.
Before we moved to Buffalo I did some research. I researched the usual stuff, like neighborhoods, houses, and schools. I looked endlessly at maps to find libraries, grocery stores, yarn shops, ice cream parlors, children’s venues, natural resource shops, and Canada. I checked meetup.com for interest groups. I looked for bloggers. I read a little of the local papers and magazines online. It all looked good enough.
What had my heart thumping was when I finally found a glimpse of a cargo bike and other cycling families. This was a needle in a haystack endeavor. Search engines were not providing me anything under the terms “cargo bike,” “bakfiets,” “longtail,” “longjohn,” “family cycling,” and many other variations to find families and children on bicycles in Buffalo. There was nothing except Urban Simplicity‘s blog (his son has graduated highschool) and a craigslisting for an Xtracycle. Them some slim pickings.
Then I saw a photo in the Buffalo News covering Play Streets. Or maybe it was on GOBike Buffalo‘s site of a Safe Routes to School event? Of course I can’t find the article or the photo now, because like I said, it was a needle, in an enormous haystack. In the photo, not prominently positioned, was a bakfiets. A bakfiets! This should have made headlines, but not here. Maybe this bicycle was so normal and families riding in boxes was so mundane it wasn’t note worthy. I could only hope.
With in days of arrival in Buffalo we went scouting for a bike map. Something that would illustrate the safest streets for cycling with children. We came home empty handed, however everyone we talked to at Rick and the GOBike workshop said we needed to get in touch with Justin Booth, as he had “this weird bike.” A couple weeks before we relocated, Joe George, with Urban Simplicity, said we ought to connect with Justin, because he had a cargo bike too. Ok, Justin, now we were on a man hunt. I sent him a message on facebook that went unreturned. All those who would drop his name said he was busy with a lot of volunteer work and his family. I respect this. I am this. I still wanted to find this elusive link to what could be a prosperous family bicycle connection.
A week into the school year where the boys attend I asked a man in the parking lot if he worked there, because I had seen him a few times and he was wearing a name tag, which most of the faculty were not doing. He introduced himself as a Say Yes coordinator at #54, our school, and then we talked about my bike where I was buckling Oliver, the three year old, into. Mr. Antoinetti (sp?) mentioned organizing the school’s bike to school day. You don’t say?! He also says he worked with one Mr. Justin Booth and we should meet. Alright, that’s it. Where ever you are Justin, I will find you.
I posted some casual witty remark in a Buffalo Family Bicycling group on Facebook (It has tribe potential, but I’m getting blank stares right now. A lot of helpful insight, but no family riding buddies. Yet.), and I got a reply, from the man himself. We made arrangements to meet up for coffee last week. I dragged my husband with me because I thought, this could be it. We have found our people.
To get to Spot Coffee on the corner of Delaware and Chippewa, you have to go where you have never gone by bike before, and trust that you will arrive safely, and on time. It worked. Here’s how we got from home, in the University Heights, to school on Main, to drop off the boys, then to downtown, on our dual-Yuba morning:
We used the sidewalk on Main Street, having to walk over the curbs at Humboldt Parkway because there were no curb cut, and slowing down along Forest Cemetery because the asphalt side walk was torn up by tree roots. Then it was groovy. Lafayette Avenue was quiet at 9AM ish, the two directional bike lanes and single directional traffic on Linwood Avenue was sweet. The lack of street signs going south needs some improvement but being met by a bike light at the end made up for the annoyance of craning my head around mid intersection to make sure I didn’t pass my turn. We jogged from Linwood to North Street to Delaware Avenue to catch the new bike lane. Downtown was alive, but not overwhelming with vehicles or people, making Brent feel more at ease having Oliver on my deck as we ventured into new territories.
It’s clear I didn’t do my research well. I was looking for a bakfiets, not a face. Sorry Justin. I was just a little too enthusiastic and hopeful that what would roll up to Spot Coffee was a box full of little children. It’s was also not my expectation that the family man I was seeking out would be the executive director of GOBike Buffalo. Surprise! No one mentioned this to me. Or I wasn’t listening. That’s probably the right answer. We didn’t find our tribe, we found the tribal leader.
We I jabbered on for over an hour, comparing notes on cycling advocacy progress in Buffalo and the work I was involved with in Huntington. We wrapped things up with an open ended “how can I help you?” and “what do you want to do to help?” Then Justin took us on the short tour of the lower west side neighborhood, setting us out on a calm path to Buffalo State to bring Brent to work. It was a joyful and inspiring morning. The stalking sleuthing paid off in dividends.
We still need to reconnect about tossing all my children into his box bike and chugging them upslope for miles on end.